Best served very cold.

Well as it is generally known amongst my friends and arresting officers my mantra is "Any day without a stabbing incident is a win", which at first people laugh at but then they meet my family and the "unattainable goals" conversation invariably follows, it is with this in mind I think of my poor friend stuck crying in the bathroom while one demonically possessed child calls her a "meanie pig" and the other just destroys beloved possessions. While I am forever grateful for the phrase "meanie pig" (which incidentally I may use on the employee appraisal section of my next performance review), I also have some advice for my friend whose only crime was the desire to shit unobserved...There's is absolutely nothing wrong with planning revenge on your children.
It was an idea that my first husband and I developed when Rain Man was a toddler, neither of us believe in hitting children and after Rain Man had rampaged through the house and subjected us to many prolonged hours of SAS style torture (this kid was born knowing to go for soft tissue areas), My first husband turned to me and said "On his 18th Birthday I am going to jump out of a wardrobe or something and beat the crap out of him...of course I'll be old and he'll be in his prime so I'll leg it afterwards but it'll be worth it" and with that statement a bit more magic entered this jaded old world.
I call it my Revenge Diary, but while I may forget social niceties and to cook food before serving, all my tactics are so firmly etched in my mind that I have no need to write them down. I look forward to my son nervous before his first date, and when I go to kiss him good bye and lean in, screw up my face, gag and say "Oh my god you have BIN breath", or the first meal he cooks for us when he moves out, so painstakingly prepared, which my first husband and I will claim has dirt in it, refuse to eat, up end the plate and throw a chair. We shall also phone him up in the early hours of the morning and scream for no explicable reason, unmake all the beds in his house and piss around his toilet rather into it. You may think this sounds a little uncharitable but these ideas have all been lifted directly from him.
Now he is older and his foul treatment of us isn't so easily translatable I have had to diversify my revenge portfolio a little, this year alone he has earned himself (to be delivered at age 15) when his friends come over me wearing a t-shirt of his favourite band (ill fitting of course) singing along and dancing, being the mum who tries so very hard to be cool, and of course my First Husband and I being extremely candid about our sex life.
So to my unit bound friend, grab an exercise book and a pen and plan on how you will get those little bastards back...