I am so sick of everyone saying "You have no ambition or goals. All you want to do is drink, swear and tell long winded stories that end up involving Brian Blessed*".
So I have worked and pondered and come up with a goal...I am going to punch every person I encounter who says anything about "Having your cake and eating it too". Do these people not understand the concept of cake as a foodstuff? Were they cruelly subjected to styrofoam faux-cakes as children? Or are they just really fucking stupid? I am the first to admit that I have, on occasion, produced cakes no one WANTED to attempt to eat (because they were weak, unadventurous...and 7) but the point is they could have (if they weren't ungrateful little turds who just wouldn't eat something because they couldn't identify what it was).
* Did you know Brian Blessed does a voice in Peppa Pig? Life just doesn't get better than that.
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